Tips for telling sexual partners about your HIV

• Talk to other people living with HIV to learn from their experiences on different ways to tell.

• Some people tell their partner when they first meet while others wait till later. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable.

• Test how your partner may react to your HIV by asking questions like ‘what do you think about HIV’ or talking about a news story. This will give you an idea of what they think about HIV and how they might react.

• Think of things like the best time to tell the person.

• Think of telling in a place that you feel comfortable and safe in.

• If you think that your partner may get violent or angry, tell your partner in a safe place and have a plan in place for your safety.

• Be ready for questions about HIV after you tell such as the risks of passing on the virus and safer sex. A counsellor can also help you with this.

• Telling someone is a process rather than a one-time event. Your partner may need time to deal with emotions and have many questions about HIV.

• Remember, you don’t have to do this on your own. Ask your HIV team for support. They will be very happy to help you tell your partner. Positive Women Inc., Body Positive and the New Zealand AIDS Foundation are organisations that support people living with HIV. They can also help you with this.

• It may be useful to use a resource like this leaflet ‘I Am Living With HIV’. You can download it and print or order them from Positive Women Inc.

• Read or download our tips for Telling Sexual Partners (printable PDF).